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A horrible dream…

A horrible dream…

I had a really busy day yesterday and ended it at the gym, determined to take out my stresses on the poor old treadmill, rather than take them home.

Exercise, in a weird way, is a bit like worship to me. I plug myself into my iPod and get lost in the moment. Sometimes I think, sometimes I pray, though lots of times I mostly just sweat like a wildebeast and whine for 24 hours about how ‘everythiiiiiinnnngggggg hurts’.

But I digress, because yesterday there were a couple of pressing situations in my head and I found myself asking God, ‘Lord, where ARE you in all of this….how come I can’t see what you’re doing??’

No answer.

Went home, ate dinner, yacked on the phone for ages and I finally fell into bed, headfirst into a really horrible dream.

I was all tangled up in a thick, sleeping bag and an evil force was sitting on top of me, trying to shove the sleeping bag down my throat. I was fighting to get away and kept hearing this weird voice say, ‘We’re going to kill her…we’re going to kill her’. 

I lay stock still (in the dream) figuring that playing dead might help, but as soon as I wriggled, the shoving and suffocating started again. In my head was this thought, ‘if I can call out to Jesus, this will go away…’ But the ‘force’ prevented me from talking and I couldn’t get out a word.

I woke up, seconds later, gasping and *just* managing to hurl out the words, ‘Jesus…HELP’.

I’m not one for getting ‘spooked’ but this was SO vivid, I felt a bit rattled. Took a few deep breaths as I fully emerged into consciousness and looked at my phone to see what time it was; 3.10am. 

In an attempt to orient myself again with the real world, I clicked on the Facebook app and this was the first thing that appeared (took a screenshot, first thing when the alarm went off this morn, to prove it!!)

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It just reminded me (because it CAN be easy to forget) that life IS a battle, often against things we cannot see.

We can ask God where He is in a situation, but sometimes, things occur not because He isn’t there, but because you’re coming face to face with evil.

I was always taught to believe that when this happens, be encouraged. If the devil’s got you on his ‘person of interest’ list, that’s a GOOD thing.

I’d rather not be half-suffocated in a sleeping bag, but I woke up feeling oddly up-beat.

At least I know who wins in the end.

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Welcome to Ugly Grace

Ugly Grace? That’s a strange name for a blog! After all, grace is anything BUT ugly. And yet sometimes, God’s grace in our lives (as the tag line says) so often begins with a really ugly story. At least that’s been true in my life. This a personal blog telling stories and reflections but I hope it will also inspire you to pick up a Bible.

A wise person once said, ‘Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men (humans!) face’. The Bible is bursting with amazing action, incredible love stories and most of all, this astonishing story of a God who is indisputable faithful and grace-filled toward people who follow him.

Welcome to Ugly Grace. And oh my name is Paula. Nice to meet you.