So, thanks to my friend/colleague (Frolleague??) Berni Dymet, I read a blog post this week on the subject of bullying.

It was the story of Peter Pilt, a man whose family has experienced cyber-bullying, and in the post, he chatted pretty honestly about how they handled it together as a family.

There’s been some awful, awful stories in the press recently about young girls who ran out of hope, after being bullied on Social Media sites. The comments on news sites almost universally seem to say; ‘If the bullying was online…why didn’t they simply stop looking online? Close their accounts…stop going back??’

But instead, it all became too much and these young girls, so beautiful and otherwise full of life, chose to end their days on earth, because they had no choice but to believe the lies and absorb the humiliation. I can’t even begin to imagine how dreadfully low they must have felt.

Maybe the answer is something to do with family? I’m not trying to comment/speculate on these girls’ relationship with their families….but I know for me at least, I grew up in a family where it was simply non-negotiable; ‘In this family, we don’t keep secrets and we don’t tell lies’.

And we didn’t.

Practically, that meant that if we screwed up, we always ‘fessed up. If we were worried or sad about something, we always spoke up. If anyone tried to hurt us, we always talked about it.

We used to laugh that Mum, Dad, Jon and I were the ‘Four Musketeers’. But it was true and it’s still true today. My family have been there for me through some truly awful times. They’ve had plenty to say at times (whose family hasn’t???) but the bottom line is, we stick together through it all and we tell each other what is going on.

No one is perfect and new people and relationships come into our lives, but the motto for my family always has been and always will be; no secrets and no lies.

I’m blessed beyond measure (I know this!) to have a family who doesn’t shy away from the tough stuff and who support me through all of life’s hurdles.

I salute you, family! You know who you are.

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(My bro, me (shorty!) and Dad)

And home wouldn’t be home without my beautiful ma.

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4 responses to “We don’t keep secrets…”

  1. sylvia Avatar
    sylvia

    You are truly blessed Paula. I loved both my mom and dad and I know they loved me but I could never go to them with problems. I handled them by myself. I don’t know if it was because they were older when they had me or if it was just me not being able to share.

    1. Paula Cummings Avatar
      Paula Cummings

      Sylvia – you’re a part of our family too. 🙂

  2. shirl Avatar
    shirl

    Thank you Paula for sharing the heart of our family.This the way families should be! I love my family, but always told them when they were wrong,but stand firmly beside through life.

  3. EncounterswiththeKing Avatar

    Sounds like you have a wonderful family there Paula!
    Is that your Mum? she takes a good photo!

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Welcome to Ugly Grace

Ugly Grace? That’s a strange name for a blog! After all, grace is anything BUT ugly. And yet sometimes, God’s grace in our lives (as the tag line says) so often begins with a really ugly story. At least that’s been true in my life. This a personal blog telling stories and reflections but I hope it will also inspire you to pick up a Bible.

A wise person once said, ‘Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men (humans!) face’. The Bible is bursting with amazing action, incredible love stories and most of all, this astonishing story of a God who is indisputable faithful and grace-filled toward people who follow him.

Welcome to Ugly Grace. And oh my name is Paula. Nice to meet you.